The Proudest Parent EVER!

Jade did it!! she passed the friendliness test and got her paper from the Doctor and now she is my service dog. She carries my wallet and keys and lipgloss and meds...  She got her vest and patches in the mail yesterday and she looks so good. 

I took her out to Safeway and no one bugged us and she walked next tot he cart the whole time sitting when we stopped and not bothering anyone. She seams to understand she is working.  I let people pet her when they ask and she eats up the attention. I mean look at her she's to cute to walk past. I am eager to take her to a restaurant and to work one day to see how she does. 

Challenging

I have been hanging out with lost of people this week that are super fun and I have been enjoying life a lot. Going to play texas hold um and pool and darts and movies and martini bars etc.... I have located my new future its just a matter of time now for the house to sell. The new place is Keizer Oregon its a small town like Antioch that boarders Salem. I got a new Job pending my background with t-mobile. I just need to finish jades service dog stuff and Ill be set New life altogether. 

New Job

New House

Newly Single

New town 

New Friends

Its mostly exciting to me that I am moving some where totally strange to me with a new job and shit and all alone. 

Im torn about a lot going on, but I have had some great distractions with new friends. I think its best to give up Jade, but I know Im the one whose gonna give her the best love and she may just need a dog walker to come by once a day and some training to go to work with me but I owe it to me and her to make it work she is all I have now mi familia. I will never be able to do it. 

There is so much I wanna share about what's going on who im hangin out with and what Im going, but can't out of respect to parties involved. I can say getting a divorce is turning out to be the best choice. I think its cliché but we were 2 different people who gave up a lot for eachother to try and make it work. In the long run we didn't have kids fortunatly and we have learned some lessons. Im really ready for life to move on. I feel like I Know more now and have had my eyes opened wide to things.

Anja

Life keeps sucking

I cant do it. I just cant do it. I don't know how its gonna happen, but i cant do it. I need help, and I have no one here to turn to. It sucks to be here all alone with just me to rely on, but i am excited to be standing truly on my own no matter how hard it is. Maybe one day Ill find what i deserve and be happy cuz lord knows i am struggling.


Its looking like I might have to give up my dog. My love. I don't know how Im gonna take care of her. Shell be alone up to 10 hours a day. I feel thats cruel I need to give her a better life than that. Its hard to deal with all this. She is my heart and I just cant do it but some times we have to be selfless and not selfish and Im not sure what to do. I need help. What should I do about my dog? i will be working 2 jobs to support myself so she will have a lot of alone time. If she gets hurt I am the only one to pay for it. Can I afford that on my own!!! What to do??? I made a commitment to her. Would she be better off in a no kill kennel in a cage or pin for hours all day or in my apartment air-conditioned and with toys and a bed. How do i know who ever adopts her wont use her for fighting and or testing?

Any Ideas/

Anja

i hate life

Im always second choice.... the back up..... when can I be the first choice and #1 only???

fuck this shit!

Anja