Well I have been waiting for this for a month... Ryan and I are going to the A's Vs Mariners games Saturday and a surprise to me Sunday too!!! Im fucking excited! I haven't seen an A's Game in probably 2 years! Ofcourse they are not doing well this year but Im excited to go and have a trip with ryan stay in a noce hotel abd see 2 game sina row. Yeah we have to drive 2 hours bt OH well. I LOVE the fuck out of road trips! The only times I went to seattle were with a group of not no so fun stick in the muds and my Mom who rocks but the next day the ex left me. SO im hopping to have soem real fun cuz Ryan doesn have hang ups about shit and can cut loose. sat we have reaaly good seats with the rich. day 2 we are lower level just out in the open and sadly we have rain. Good thing Safeco fields has a retractablee roof!!!! so not liek the ghetto Oakland colusseum. Any how I Love to travel and I love my A's and it shoudl be a fun weekend in seattle. '
P.S. the priceline name your own price realllllllly works!!!!!!!!! try it!
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Killer Thoughts
I was watching the story of Laci Peterson today before I went into work today. For those of you who don't know she was an 8 month pregnant mom who went missing in Modesto, CA Dec 24th, 2002. In the end it was found to be that her husband Scott Peterson was having an affair and had killer Laci.
I guess I'm lucky in the way that the EX finaley spoke up about how he felt about me and walked away rather than killing me. You never know when someone will get to that point. Especialy when he had been living with these feelings for years prior to asking me to marry him, as I am told by Jeremy. When some one is holding in that kind of lie for so such a long time it can drive you to do things you wouldnt normaly. I found out that he felt marring me would fix problems I had no clue was there because they were never communicated to me. When your feeling stuck and desperate to get out and dont have the courage to speak up you can be driven to horrific things. I have to say Im glad he fianly found the guts to speak up, and not just because he didnt end it with murder, but also becasue I didnt realize how he was hindering me from living life. I was wound so tight in tryingto keep the EX happy I ddint worry about my own happiness.
You never know when some one is at the point where rather than speaking up they will just turn to murder. I watch the first 48 a lot, its one of my favorite shows, and I wonder all the time what makes a person get to that point where its the best option in there mind to just kill for any reason.
I guess I'm lucky in the way that the EX finaley spoke up about how he felt about me and walked away rather than killing me. You never know when someone will get to that point. Especialy when he had been living with these feelings for years prior to asking me to marry him, as I am told by Jeremy. When some one is holding in that kind of lie for so such a long time it can drive you to do things you wouldnt normaly. I found out that he felt marring me would fix problems I had no clue was there because they were never communicated to me. When your feeling stuck and desperate to get out and dont have the courage to speak up you can be driven to horrific things. I have to say Im glad he fianly found the guts to speak up, and not just because he didnt end it with murder, but also becasue I didnt realize how he was hindering me from living life. I was wound so tight in tryingto keep the EX happy I ddint worry about my own happiness.
You never know when some one is at the point where rather than speaking up they will just turn to murder. I watch the first 48 a lot, its one of my favorite shows, and I wonder all the time what makes a person get to that point where its the best option in there mind to just kill for any reason.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
The Mini adventures of Booper.
Meet: BOOPER THE COOPER
He is one of the few things that are awesome in life. The reason I work hard is to have this car!
you know what I mean?
We had some amazing adventures in the 7 months I have had Him. As you can see hes super dirty. Driving home from California while snow was falling got a little messy. You see they salt and graqvel the roads to help with traction. It leaves your care looking like this. As you can see he being wheeled off a tow truck.
The reason for the tow was the mini cant take chains and they shut down the pass from Yreka to Oregon chains required. So I was stuck and more snow was coming on its way. I didn't know what to do. I called all around to see about getting smaller tires, but mini is so rare in Yreka there was no one in town who could accommodate me. I ended up on the phone crying to Ryan that I was at a loss and scared that i was gonna be stuck and all I wanted was to come home. He said hed call me back and WHEN HE DID HE HIT GOLD. His dad had the Idea to use my roadside (that I just added 3 days prior) to tow me saying it broke down. And the insurance has to take you to the fist capable place that can repair it which was Medford because Mini is proprietary and can only be worked on by BMW. Not entirely true if a mechanic has the parts that are specialized for Mini they can work on it, but who cares I got over the pass. There was a lot more dangerous parts on the trip but going 5 miles and hour over really bumpy ice was a battle I was willing to have to get home to my bed and my Ryan.
I gave Booper a bath today and detailed the hell out of him. I had to wash him twice because he was that dirty. The hood stripes turn me on. I just love them, that's kinda my thing. I have 2 toy minis on my desk at work and I painted on hood stripes. My dream Mini is gun metal gray with black hood stripes outlined in white. Black roof Black side mirrors and black and gray leather interior. I have a lot of cool features in this Heated front seats ( great in the winter when the heater int he car takes forever to warm up, and great when your back hurts after a day at work.) I have a tight ass sun roof that has a screen I can open or close to diffuse the sun light on my head. I love the summer open all the windows crank up the music and drive. This one will do till I can get my dream Mini.
That Bomb is the same bomb I have tattooed on my arm. I had to carve the spikes you see on the inside to make it match right. I know its a little geeky but I don't care I dance to my own tune.
This is "the Cornell" hes my road dog. Strapped in the back and ready to ride.
He is one of the few things that are awesome in life. The reason I work hard is to have this car!
you know what I mean?
We had some amazing adventures in the 7 months I have had Him. As you can see hes super dirty. Driving home from California while snow was falling got a little messy. You see they salt and graqvel the roads to help with traction. It leaves your care looking like this. As you can see he being wheeled off a tow truck.
The reason for the tow was the mini cant take chains and they shut down the pass from Yreka to Oregon chains required. So I was stuck and more snow was coming on its way. I didn't know what to do. I called all around to see about getting smaller tires, but mini is so rare in Yreka there was no one in town who could accommodate me. I ended up on the phone crying to Ryan that I was at a loss and scared that i was gonna be stuck and all I wanted was to come home. He said hed call me back and WHEN HE DID HE HIT GOLD. His dad had the Idea to use my roadside (that I just added 3 days prior) to tow me saying it broke down. And the insurance has to take you to the fist capable place that can repair it which was Medford because Mini is proprietary and can only be worked on by BMW. Not entirely true if a mechanic has the parts that are specialized for Mini they can work on it, but who cares I got over the pass. There was a lot more dangerous parts on the trip but going 5 miles and hour over really bumpy ice was a battle I was willing to have to get home to my bed and my Ryan.
I gave Booper a bath today and detailed the hell out of him. I had to wash him twice because he was that dirty. The hood stripes turn me on. I just love them, that's kinda my thing. I have 2 toy minis on my desk at work and I painted on hood stripes. My dream Mini is gun metal gray with black hood stripes outlined in white. Black roof Black side mirrors and black and gray leather interior. I have a lot of cool features in this Heated front seats ( great in the winter when the heater int he car takes forever to warm up, and great when your back hurts after a day at work.) I have a tight ass sun roof that has a screen I can open or close to diffuse the sun light on my head. I love the summer open all the windows crank up the music and drive. This one will do till I can get my dream Mini.
That Bomb is the same bomb I have tattooed on my arm. I had to carve the spikes you see on the inside to make it match right. I know its a little geeky but I don't care I dance to my own tune.
This is "the Cornell" hes my road dog. Strapped in the back and ready to ride.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Just call me Freddie Kruger Leggs
Warning this is grousome ( <----spelling, no matter how I changed it spell check couldn't get the word correct)! Those lumps are blisters not fat ( I know what your thinking). I think we are at day 4 in this photo. In hind site I stopped the paramedics, that Ryan called, from doing the most important thing putting cold compresses on mt legs. It stops the cooking so to speak of the hot water on my legs, but I was in so much pain I told the paramedics no to lay a hand on me, but to do an IV. the shitty thing is that when they did the IV tube, which is tiny, crossed my legs and it hurt beyond what you could imagine and I almost passed out from pain. 
Day 5 Ripples in the skin, and raw meat with no skin. It was all a blur I took so much morphine I had a hard time peeing. I guess a side affect is it can restrict that.
I would be doing something lets say making soup ( carefuly ) in the kitchen. I would feel a warm then cool trickle and look down to see a blister draining down my leg. Its was a lot of fun for about a week. If I gently brushed anyting i was losing skin or or blisterrs. lets all say "yummy".
No photo show here, the skin pealed off really easily. I basically was cooked as the hot water sat on my skin. The emergency room at Salem Hospital told me the completely wrong wrong way to treat my burn at home and I later found out I should have been hospitalized. Proper burn care " pop all blisters and drain, but leave skin intact to the body as best possible, keep covered with silverdine cream at all times and don't allow a scab to form. Wash daily with Johnson and johnson baby shampoo"
Just raw exposed skin, it was hard to walk, Ryan said I kinda had a mosey for about 2 weeks or so. I wore hospital gowns for days on end. lets just say there was lots of morphine ingested.
This is close to the end of week one. Week two was much harder for me, and week 3. It was more painful the longer my skin was exposed.
The burns started to turn brown, when the burn heals it secretes a protein in 2 colors brown and green. (often mistaken for an infection) It was during this phase for over a week and a half maybe even 2 weeks I would wake up stuck to my bedding and have to get in the shower to get unstuck. I was carring a my sheer to the shower and wettign it down with cool water to get unstuck. It was miserable and very painful.
Above and below is a combination of the proteins in brown and green, I accidentally rubbed off part of it and again more raw skin. If you look close there are still a few blisters.
Staying clean is hard from the very beginning. I would sit on the edge of the tub and thankfully I had a shower wond and I was able to clean my self up with it at a temperature that was OK for me. Which for most days was way colder that I wanted being winter and all. It was a snow storm outside. Yup that Booper ( the mini ) under the snow. Look how high the snow is on the tire. 
This is the cream silverdine I had to rub on all the time.
The top and bottom pictures are the end of week 2 and beging of week three. I suddenly developped bruising and I think it might have to do with movement and walking around the appsrtment. Needless today that I didnt leave the apartment much, stairs were a challenge.
The green next to the pad is the protein that grows. Ir looks like a bad snot from a sinus infection.
We are now approaching mid-week three. It started to dry out finally, it got really flacky and waking up every morning I had to sweep out my bed. ( poor Ryan ).
The scabs that formed were thicker that dorittos potato chips ( leave it to a fat girl to reference food). When chipped or bent they would snap loud like a "pop" of your bubble gum or a rubber band. It was also very painful becasue the scabs would crack and the dark parts that look black are blood from wherethe scab seperated. I hated this because I would be laying on the couch or bed and move a 1/4" inch and a sharp pain would shoot from the scab and id look down to see that I was bleeding. I would "ohh" and "ahhh' a lot during this time and I felt like I was annoying others.
Now I have no scabs and the skin underneath is really sensitive. Doc said I lost all the hair follicles and that I'm lucky I didn't need skin grafting. Especially after being told the wrong way to care for my burns by Salem emergency. I finally got an appointment with the Oregon Burn center, it took forever due to holidays, and the Doctor I saw felt so bad that they couldn't see me sooner because I suffered longer and more intensely that I should have thanks to Salem emergency room.
This is official the end of week 4 and my first day back to work December 22nd one month one day from the day I go burned.
So now Im am 5 weeks out and this is how I am looking now. There are no scabs or raw skin or flakes, but it is still tender. Its like having a sunburn most of the day. Clothes irritate it and when you touch it to hard it burns, and some times feels like its bleeding when its not. If I get cold , which this time of year is all the time, I get goose bumps that feel like needles under the skin. When I get to hot like in the shower the burns will swell and hurt but quickly subside.
P.S. I wanna turn 21 again.
Day 5 Ripples in the skin, and raw meat with no skin. It was all a blur I took so much morphine I had a hard time peeing. I guess a side affect is it can restrict that.
I would be doing something lets say making soup ( carefuly ) in the kitchen. I would feel a warm then cool trickle and look down to see a blister draining down my leg. Its was a lot of fun for about a week. If I gently brushed anyting i was losing skin or or blisterrs. lets all say "yummy".
No photo show here, the skin pealed off really easily. I basically was cooked as the hot water sat on my skin. The emergency room at Salem Hospital told me the completely wrong wrong way to treat my burn at home and I later found out I should have been hospitalized. Proper burn care " pop all blisters and drain, but leave skin intact to the body as best possible, keep covered with silverdine cream at all times and don't allow a scab to form. Wash daily with Johnson and johnson baby shampoo"
Just raw exposed skin, it was hard to walk, Ryan said I kinda had a mosey for about 2 weeks or so. I wore hospital gowns for days on end. lets just say there was lots of morphine ingested.
This is close to the end of week one. Week two was much harder for me, and week 3. It was more painful the longer my skin was exposed.
The burns started to turn brown, when the burn heals it secretes a protein in 2 colors brown and green. (often mistaken for an infection) It was during this phase for over a week and a half maybe even 2 weeks I would wake up stuck to my bedding and have to get in the shower to get unstuck. I was carring a my sheer to the shower and wettign it down with cool water to get unstuck. It was miserable and very painful.
Above and below is a combination of the proteins in brown and green, I accidentally rubbed off part of it and again more raw skin. If you look close there are still a few blisters.
Staying clean is hard from the very beginning. I would sit on the edge of the tub and thankfully I had a shower wond and I was able to clean my self up with it at a temperature that was OK for me. Which for most days was way colder that I wanted being winter and all. It was a snow storm outside. Yup that Booper ( the mini ) under the snow. Look how high the snow is on the tire. 
This is the cream silverdine I had to rub on all the time.
The top and bottom pictures are the end of week 2 and beging of week three. I suddenly developped bruising and I think it might have to do with movement and walking around the appsrtment. Needless today that I didnt leave the apartment much, stairs were a challenge.
The green next to the pad is the protein that grows. Ir looks like a bad snot from a sinus infection.
We are now approaching mid-week three. It started to dry out finally, it got really flacky and waking up every morning I had to sweep out my bed. ( poor Ryan ).
The scabs that formed were thicker that dorittos potato chips ( leave it to a fat girl to reference food). When chipped or bent they would snap loud like a "pop" of your bubble gum or a rubber band. It was also very painful becasue the scabs would crack and the dark parts that look black are blood from wherethe scab seperated. I hated this because I would be laying on the couch or bed and move a 1/4" inch and a sharp pain would shoot from the scab and id look down to see that I was bleeding. I would "ohh" and "ahhh' a lot during this time and I felt like I was annoying others.
Now I have no scabs and the skin underneath is really sensitive. Doc said I lost all the hair follicles and that I'm lucky I didn't need skin grafting. Especially after being told the wrong way to care for my burns by Salem emergency. I finally got an appointment with the Oregon Burn center, it took forever due to holidays, and the Doctor I saw felt so bad that they couldn't see me sooner because I suffered longer and more intensely that I should have thanks to Salem emergency room.
This is official the end of week 4 and my first day back to work December 22nd one month one day from the day I go burned.
So now Im am 5 weeks out and this is how I am looking now. There are no scabs or raw skin or flakes, but it is still tender. Its like having a sunburn most of the day. Clothes irritate it and when you touch it to hard it burns, and some times feels like its bleeding when its not. If I get cold , which this time of year is all the time, I get goose bumps that feel like needles under the skin. When I get to hot like in the shower the burns will swell and hurt but quickly subside.
P.S. I wanna turn 21 again.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Burn Update
Well here we have the 2 legs together.
I was making breakfast today and this is exactly how the eggs fell in the bowl. I swear to god I did nothing to make them do this. I had loaded the bowl and went to mix it after tossing out the shells and saw this.
So I got the courage to take a bath cold bath to wash my wounds and hair. It was very painful. The skin is thin and ready to rub or roll off especially the deflated blisters that burst. I only have tiny blisters left smaller than a dime speckled all over my legs. All the big juicy ones have bust mostly in the bath when I was washing with a towel.
This is my stomach burns still red and sore but no more blisters.
This would be the outside of my right thigh the red patch near my knee had since been rubbed off by brushing up against the couch and is now raw flesh showing. I'm frustrated that I cant wear any bandages the ER doc said just let it breath. It weeps constantly I carry tissue with me not to blow my nose but to catch the dribble down my legs.
This is the inside of left thigh
This is the inside of my right thigh. it consists of mostly the top layer of skin just loose and waiting to be rubbed off, but I am scared to do it cuz the raw skin hurts more.
My cute boyfriend lays out everything he carries in his pockets on the bed in a neat and orderly fashion based of each pockets having its own pile it melts my heart when I see this. he will also streighten out the remotes on the sofa when we are hanging out watching TV.
I was making breakfast today and this is exactly how the eggs fell in the bowl. I swear to god I did nothing to make them do this. I had loaded the bowl and went to mix it after tossing out the shells and saw this. So I got the courage to take a bath cold bath to wash my wounds and hair. It was very painful. The skin is thin and ready to rub or roll off especially the deflated blisters that burst. I only have tiny blisters left smaller than a dime speckled all over my legs. All the big juicy ones have bust mostly in the bath when I was washing with a towel.
This is my stomach burns still red and sore but no more blisters.
This would be the outside of my right thigh the red patch near my knee had since been rubbed off by brushing up against the couch and is now raw flesh showing. I'm frustrated that I cant wear any bandages the ER doc said just let it breath. It weeps constantly I carry tissue with me not to blow my nose but to catch the dribble down my legs.
This is the inside of left thigh 
This is the inside of my right thigh. it consists of mostly the top layer of skin just loose and waiting to be rubbed off, but I am scared to do it cuz the raw skin hurts more.
My cute boyfriend lays out everything he carries in his pockets on the bed in a neat and orderly fashion based of each pockets having its own pile it melts my heart when I see this. he will also streighten out the remotes on the sofa when we are hanging out watching TV.
I am So Dumb.....
So... Yesterday I had back surgery. I had an internal epidural steroid injection with 2 nerves being severed to reduce pain I have. I hate water so to stay hydrated all day I drink caffeine free Ices tea. I like to make it myself . I boil water and pour it into a thermos and throw in 2 bags of tea, my favorite flavor from starbucks " calm ". Well last night I was going through tea quickly, so i decided to make a triple batch of tea and store it in the fridge till I needed it. So, I got a glass pitcher that I use in the summer when its hot, i didn't think about it being 39 degrees outside last night. As I poured boiing hot water in the glass pitcher it shattered on the counter in front of me and all the hot water came splashing onto my legs. I was wearing sweat pants and a hoodie. As I pulled my pants off my skin pealed off with it. My boyfriend Ryan called the paramedics as iIstarted to go into shock. 
THIS IS MY RIGHT LEG
Right leg again
my Left leg
this is leaving the hospital the skin was rolling off i have seccond degree burns on 60% of the front of my thight on the right, and 30 % of my left leg and about 12 inches by 3 inches across my stomach.
This is my right neg the next morning (today Saturday 11/22/08) the shinny part is raw skin where the top layer just pealed off after the blisters pop. you can see the yellosh spots are the newest blister getting full
This is my left leg the next morning the big red patch is raw skin and the is blister you can see right next to it on the inner thigh that os the size of a silver dollar and hangs like a nut sack, I think its the next to burst.
Left leg again you can see the nutsck blister a little better here. Look closley the skin is ripping over it.
Outer part of my right leg next day. So I'm off work till 12/1/08 at least. As you can imagine I cant wear pants and its difficult wearing a skirt but at least I'm covered. I have to lift the front of the skirt off my legs when I walk its really embarrassing. They sent me home with 40 morphine tabs. I'm taking 2 /15 mg morphine every 3 hours and an additional on 30 min later if the pain isn't being reduced. I have to get a follow up and probably see a urn specialist before heading back to work. I have to file for disability on Monday.
My sweet boyfriend took me to Walgreens at 330 am to get medications on the way home form the emergency room. He bought me a tuperwear pitcher to use from now on to make my tea. I was so scared to make a new pot last night but I did, you have to get back up on the housre so to speak. This time I put the pitcher in the sink just in case it wanted to melt and burst, but it did great.
Well morphines is kicking in time for a nap.
THIS IS MY RIGHT LEG
Right leg again
my Left leg
this is leaving the hospital the skin was rolling off i have seccond degree burns on 60% of the front of my thight on the right, and 30 % of my left leg and about 12 inches by 3 inches across my stomach.
This is my right neg the next morning (today Saturday 11/22/08) the shinny part is raw skin where the top layer just pealed off after the blisters pop. you can see the yellosh spots are the newest blister getting full
This is my left leg the next morning the big red patch is raw skin and the is blister you can see right next to it on the inner thigh that os the size of a silver dollar and hangs like a nut sack, I think its the next to burst.
Left leg again you can see the nutsck blister a little better here. Look closley the skin is ripping over it.
Outer part of my right leg next day. So I'm off work till 12/1/08 at least. As you can imagine I cant wear pants and its difficult wearing a skirt but at least I'm covered. I have to lift the front of the skirt off my legs when I walk its really embarrassing. They sent me home with 40 morphine tabs. I'm taking 2 /15 mg morphine every 3 hours and an additional on 30 min later if the pain isn't being reduced. I have to get a follow up and probably see a urn specialist before heading back to work. I have to file for disability on Monday.My sweet boyfriend took me to Walgreens at 330 am to get medications on the way home form the emergency room. He bought me a tuperwear pitcher to use from now on to make my tea. I was so scared to make a new pot last night but I did, you have to get back up on the housre so to speak. This time I put the pitcher in the sink just in case it wanted to melt and burst, but it did great.
Well morphines is kicking in time for a nap.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
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